You might be a redneck if ...

You've been on TV more than 5 times describing the sound of a tornado.

Your kid takes a siphon hose to show-and-tell.

You fish in your above-ground pool and catch something.

You think a stock tip is advice on worming' your hogs.

You think "loading the dishwasher" means getting your wife drunk.

Chiggers are included on your list of top 5 hygiene concerns.

Your coffee table used to be a cable spool.

You think that the Styrofoam cooler is the greatest invention of all time.

It's Easier to spray weed killer on your lawn than mow it.

You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

The gas pedal on your car is shaped like a bare foot.

You've ever stood in line to have your picture taken with a freak of nature.

You think that John Deere Green, Ford blue, and Primer Gray are the three primary colors.

You've ever been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.

Your idea of talking during sex is "Ain't no cars coming, baby!"

The Orkin man tells you "Give up you've lost"

You were shooting pool when any of your kids were born.