benja22

I almost lost a very good friend today. I guess I always knew that he was one of my rare, truly good friends. It took a near tragedy to bring it home to me.

A blood clot entered his brain as I slept.  I don’t know what time it was when he had the stroke.  The ambulance was on the way as I pressed the snooze button on my alarm for the first time. I knew he wasn’t at work. I knew it involved a hospital. I assumed he was kicked by a horse while doing his morning chores. I wasn’t concerned.

I got the call from his wife at 8 o’clock in the morning while I was at work. My friend had a blood clot in his brain and had a stroke. Her breaking voice told me that a life-watch helicopter was taking him to a larger regional medical center. I heard her say “paralyzed”. She called me because she didn’t know who to contact at work. “I don’t know what to do.” She sobbed into the phone. I told her that ‘work’ was taken care of and not to give it another thought. Helplessness washed over me as soon as she hung up the phone.

I went to tell my boss the bad news. Between us, I found another friend. I couldn’t let my boss make an announcement over the intercom without her knowing. I’ve never touched her before so my hand on her shoulder may have startled her. I like to think that it steeled her for the news. I know it did not. She was shocked, then heart broken, then lost, just like me. Sick and close to tears I went to my boss.

I went back to my area dreading the telling of the news. All I knew, could be, and would be said in a sentence. Further questions would go unanswered. My boss on the intercom relieved me of my duty.

I thought of the wet-eyed co-workers who gathered around our area after the announcement. It occurred to me (or I knew all along), that although my friend and I worked together every day, he had learned the names of all these people days before I had. Everyone of them considered him to be special.

I spent the day in a fog. I thought of the twenty years we have spent working side by side. The great moments, and the memorable not so great moments.

I spent some time being selfish as well. Thoughts that now make me feel ashamed. Hoping not to be asked to eulogize my friend at his funeral. Perhaps I would be a pall bearer. I need a haircut. In what condition is my suit. Most of my time however, was spent in fervent, agnostic hope that my friend would be okay. I wished for him to be okay, and I wished that anyone of faith that knew him would pray for him.

At four o’clock I finally allowed myself to make the phone call I wanted to make yet dreaded all day.

It was the best possible news that could be expected.

“The MRI showed the blood clot had left the brain.” his step-daughter said calmly over the phone. I’ve never heard her not be calm. “He can feel his arms and legs and everything.”

Though he could not move one leg yet, it was expected that he will have nearly full mobility in it within twenty four hours. He is expected to be discharged from the hospital within a couple of days!

He never ceases to amaze me. He’s magic or something.

So, instead of writing a eulogy for my good friend, as soon as I’m sure he is out of the woods, I will write a roast of him instead.

But I’ll never again forget what a good friend he is to so many of us, and I’ll never forget how I felt this day.